Long Live the Queen

"Long live the Queen!"

What do you envision when you hear this? For me, I see a woman with strength and who has endured a great deal and still lives on. I see the royalty on the outside but a warrior on the inside. That right there sums up my mother.

If anyone wants to know where I get my warrior'tude and ability to persevere...I got it from her.

Mary was brought up in the traditional 1950's home, where no one talking was the norm. Dads went to work, Moms cleaned house and cooked, and if you were a kid you went to school, end of story. She was the "Why!?!" kid and was never happy with the answer of "Because I said so! She was the middle child with the loud mouth that eventually deemed her the nickname "Rebel"...to which over time she certainly lived up to it. 

At what age or point did you begin living out and up to your rebel name?

"When it came to me becoming a "woman", because my dad was so silent and I received no affirmation what so ever, I learned very quickly thanks to the 60's culture that to get attention you had to "appear" to be wild. Which was a big facade since I was anything but. Church girl on the weekends and during the school week I was rolling my skirt up, since my parents had no clue I dressed that way. This gave the impression to most boys I was a floozy or loose. FARTHEST thing from my mind. ANY guy I ever dated, if they remotely attempted anything I'd dislocate their arm, lol. But I thought I would get my affirmation needs filled that way."

 And how long did that last?

"I found no joy living in the world. It sucked to put it bluntly. I never enjoyed drinking, or the care to try any drugs. I could not stand the idea of not being in control of my own body. I met my now husband, Marshall, at a church camp and we married right out of High School. Being the designated drive to all wasn't my idea of fun. I decided at that point it had no place in my life and I rededicated my life to the Lord for the final time, January 4th, 1971, and I have not gone back since. My life became babies, being a house wife and I was always involved in the ministry somehow."

What was your roll in ministry at that time?

"There were many peaks and valleys to our marriage and life in the years that followed. I didn't realize it then, but throughout that time, God was sharpening my weapons, or His weapons, He was storing in my armory for what was ahead. A LOT of "religion" that would come up against me. Even though I could discern in my spirit when something was wrong or just not right within a church, business, whatever it may be, when I would try to approach the leadership with it, in my naivety, I would just get hammered to the ground. I would either be asked to leave or I would leave on my own. Usually I left on my own when it became so uncomfortable because everything was turned on me. My speaking out, even though I was right, had got me in trouble again."

So this would be going back to your child root of the "Why!?! Kid" and it often getting you in trouble with those not wanting to give a complete detailed response?

"Totally. I would call people out. When I would see a believer doing something that was not Christ like, I would ask the why and to what do they base their actions or words on. God is never for destruction, hurting others or putting others down. He always gives truth. He is truth and always does it with mercy. And that's the way I live. All cards on the table and I'm gonna give you the truth but with mercy and grace."

What was the response you often received from these types of situation?

"Well, sadly I was often told "You don't hear from God...You're in rebellion...You just want to take over..." Which was hard to hear and sad as well. I can honestly say this, I can name six ministries or business that are no longer, after they refused to hear the warning I tried to share them. The way they were handling the kingdom and the lives of people there was wrong. It was an open door for the enemy. They were destroyed from the inside. It wasn't the world that did it, they destroyed it from the inside out. It was hard to watch. That was when I got my Warrior thick skin!"

What fires you up and brings our the warrior in you?

"Number one, when people misuse God's Words. I'm not talking about the Bible as a book. Those are not pen and ink. Those are God's actual words and you cannot argue with them. Final. Complete. You cannot add to it. Religion does that. People make it fit their flavor of Christianity. And you don't use His words to beat people up. Especially new Christians. People do it all the time. You can't do that. It just fires me up...umm..Righteous Anger! That's what it gives me. And the other thing is abusing children. Yes, of course physically, but also lying to them. Setting them up for failure. The most common use of this I see now, being a teacher for these many years, is parents who do not give their children any type of leadership. That leaves a child completely insecure. Its like taking a little lamb and setting him on rock then saying "Here you go wolves, get your dinner" You have these parents who to me, seem afraid of their own children. That does not create a safe and secure place of protection to a child."

I know you have experienced MANY different things in life. Good, bad and some really ugly. What was the defining moment for you?

"When I was 9yrs old I gave my life to the Lord for the 1st time. I did the "Give me a verse God!", flipped my Bible open and pointed my finger blindly. It was Isaiah 41:10. I did not understand it's true meaning to me personally until I read it in the Amplified version fresh into my marriage. "...Hardened you to difficulties..." Reading that version changed everything for me and made so much sense. I would say 2006-2009 were the years of impact and defining moments. In June of 2006 our family experienced what it was like to be part of a legal battle. I saw the justice system for the first time and was very disappointed with what I saw. The way they treated individuals, non-professionalism and the politics at the expense of people's lives. Even the inmates in their orange jumpsuits who would have to shuffle in, sit there all day hoping their case would be brought up. Laughed about and basically ignored, most of the time would end up being shuffled back out at the end of the day, never heard. It was like no big deal, to the judge or the attorneys. People with parking tickets to drug dealing, they all were treated, just wrong. I was very jaded. And here we sat with our case, zero evidence and come to find out it was all a political thing. A female DA who wanted a winning case to prove a point regardless of the truth. To top that, my husband came to me and confessed to infidelities throughout our marriage. I had to put on some serious armor to defend our family. At that point I felt we had nobody but us (our family) and our two pastors who stood by us the whole time. I somehow managed to continue working full time, leading a Bible study group while going this ordeal with my heart in a million pieces and keeping face."

At that point you are probably figuring life couldn't get worse then this. What was the reaction to that whole ordeal and how did you cope with it?

" In 2007 I retired from teaching (or I thought at least) and moved to the High Desert to focus on my writing. Basically I ran from life. We wanted to hide from it all. That year my husband and I just got through life, which ended in Marshall being laid off from work just after a knee replacement. Then in February 12, 2008, our grandson Jake was born on Marshall's birthday.  April 27, 2008...losing him was hard, but watching my daughter go through it and there was nothing I could do about it was hardest. Watching my child lose her child, and just nothing I can do. That was afamily life changer. In 2009 God told me to make myself available and I returned back to teaching again and moved back to the Inland Empire. There were many a healing that took place in our family and me personally in that time frame. In 2010, while at a doctors office, I "caught a healing" as my family says, from a trauma that took place when I was 11yrs old. I was sexually abused by a family doctor. That untreated wound festered deep down my whole life. Paralyzed me literally from walking into the doorway of a dentist's office as a grown woman. But God used something like a dental visit to heal my heart and my wounds from the trauma I endured so long ago."

So where does one go from there? After a life of feeling and at times literally persecuted, infidelities, trauma, death, unemployment you name it. You have literally "been there, done that."

"In Hebrew, there is no such word for retirement. In just a few weeks, I will be leaving the teaching field and entering a new era of Kingdom building. I truly believe God wants people who are willing to be transparent and share their stories to get the attention of other 'real' people who think their stories are too shocking, involved or too complicated for God to use. But those are the people God wants to use. As many people say "Take your mess, and make it your message." That gives Him all the glory, because only HE can do the impossible.Take your nets OUT of the church sanctuary. Marshall and I recently shared our story with the world on CBN. It was a three year process, all done in God's timing. Was scary but one of the best things we've ever done. You can watch it here. "

What would you say to someone who is going through life and the battles you have lived through?

"God doesn't lie. He says He will heal and restore ALL THINGS...if, and I repeat IF we trust Him. You don't ever have to fake it with Him...if you're scared, angry, feel helpless, want to quit trying. Get alone with Him and worship. Put on your favorite songs and just hang with Jesus. He will show the truth of where you're at and then show you where to go, what to do next. Then, be WILLING to obey. It's not easy, but it's worth it.  I guarantee that 100%. He WILL come through for you."

What is your Warrior hearts calling? How do you plan to use it?

"My DREAM would be to have a retreat center for families and marriages in crisis. At the moment I am using my gifts to mentor, speak and write. I have many books in the works. A book about our marriage restoration which is also dedicated to help other couples going through the same process of healing and another I am working on along side you. I plan to develop character building children's books about honesty, parent help, virtues etc... A greeting card line is another spoke to my wheel I intend on pursuing. I have also started "Catalyst" which is a platform for those to launch themselves into their destiny. My calling is to motivate and encourage TRUE believers to use their gifts, talents and passions to not create a kingdom of their own, but build HIS! I was called to be HIS Warrior...and reproduce them!"