The Warrior in Her
It would be fitting that I give a description of the one often refereed to as my "Mini-Me" in the same fashion as I did myself...
She has been called many names. "Missy Moo, Ky, Ball of Fire, Fearless" even recently had a stranger refer to her as "one bad-A$$ little chick." Pardon the language but it was what was actually said and it really puts it into perspective what people see in her . I've also heard "Angry, Disobedient, Wild Child and the topper "That one there" in a tone that is less then loving. I would be lying if I did not admit some of those names may have fallen from my own mouth a time or two...or three...
Allow me to introduce you to "Kylie Jo." Her birth, much like my own, is metaphoric to her personality and all that she is. Born on the 4th of July. My Lil'Firecracker will be turning the BIG #5 this month! The 'finale' to our family and only girl of the kids. But let me tell you, gnarlier then all her brothers combined. I picked this name for my little girl long before she existed. It's funny how God plants seeds or ideas in your head that are not intended to be put to use until many years down the road. She is known for her persistence, and unwillingness to give in or lose a fight. She will stand her ground and keep coming back at you. The meaning of her name..."Boomerang"...THAT is my Kylie to the tee.
Some maybe wondering why I am sharing the story of a 5 year old? What "life" could she have lived to date that could impact anyone? Have a lesson to be learned? Be of encouragement to adult? Well, let me tell you what I have learned from this 5 yr old. I have learned patience, as she tests it multiple times a day. I have learned whatunconditional truly means, as there is nothing worse then hearing your kid scold their dolly in the same way you do them and then still giving you a hug and saying they love you. I have learnedacceptance, and that no matter how many stares, rude comments or "suggestions" I receive from people of 'how to deal with that kid', I have accepted they don't see her they way I do and my job is it to love her and not worry about them.
The biggest lesson I have learned from my kid...for a brief moment it was anger of "WHY GOD!? What did I do wrong?! Why am I reaping the seeds her daddy had sown as a kid (we always like to blame the spouse for the bad in our kids lol)." However, in the past year it has turned to being proud. I cannot count how many times we have taken toys and items away she has destroyed, ripped and colored on. We always managed to slowly return them to her out of guilt. Her Ariel doll has been covered from head to toe in black pen because she wanted her to have a "super-girl costume on", to fully green to transform her into "Ariel-Hulk". Last month we did another room sweep. Loaded up all her toys, books, dollies and dress-up clothes. I had had it with the mess and destruction. This time was different. Well, for me. I was starting at her empty room, and what looked like a prison cell to me. A room with a bed. Her response to the empty room and toys gone was simply "Mom, can I have my Pinkie-Pie horse? But this room looks amazing. So clean and new!" and she bolted out the door to the backyard to continue her dirt digging and trapeze swinging on the monkey bars that would give any mom heart failure.
I don't know what it was about that, but it all just clicked in my head. She is ME! She is the dirt digging, stubbed toe, stringy haired little girl I was. The one blazing circles in her razor and a torn up princess dress. She is also everything fearless I lost somewhere while growing up. While I had to live a double life in my teen years of "Quiet Kellie" at home, and "Crazy Kellie" out with the friends, this little girl, she's all that and unapologetic about it. Bold. Fearless and very matter of fact. And I don't foresee that part of her ever leaving. In fact, I envy it. I WISH I had the nerve to be the person I suppressed out of fear of rejection or embarrassment. I wish I could have kept that nerve I had when I was little. I will do all that I can to make sure she keeps that. They say break their will but not their spirit. Some days she kills me (like today in fact), and some days I dig that will she has. At the end of the day, as frustrated as I may have been with her, I hear her little mouse voice ask "Will you sing Hats with me and do my payers (prayers)?" If I was upset or frustrated, that quickly turns to compassion for my little girl because well...she's just a little girl.
Here's a short Q&A I was able to get out of her...she had things to do people...holes to dig.
What do you think Jesus made you to be?
"Well, He died on the cross and came back so we can all be nice and eat healthy food in life, not gross bugs cause those are gross. And that we praise the Lord, we all NEED Him. But Jesus is in my heart. I love to hug people. It's my favorite thing to do."
What makes you mad?
"When people can't go anywhere and are mean to other people. They don't give them love. I don't like being mean."
What Super-Power do you think Jesus gave you?
"Oh, that's love. Love in my heart. Sometimes I get in trouble for punching people when they are mean. I don't like being in trouble. I don't like doing those things. I like hugging people. It's my favorite thing."
If you close your eyes and picture yourself as a Warrior for Jesus, what do you look like?
"I would look like a real Warrior girl with a sword that could cut down trees. And I would be protecting a girl who doesn't have a family."
Is that what you think your Warrior Heart was called to do? To protect people?
"Ya. And love them. And give them hugs."
So there you have it. To all my moms out there going through the same struggle, hang tough. Having the little girl that doesn't fit that pretty princess role, it's all good.They're tough cause we are. And it's NOT a bad thing. Instead she loves dirt, weapons and playing Super-Girl (sometimes with that crown on), you are not alone. While my daughter may drive me to tears and utter loss some days, I know that she has a TREMENDOUS calling on her life.
Her BOLDNESS and being FEARLESS may concern others on the outside, cause some stares and glares, but I know she is FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE! My dirt diggin' princess who loves people and giving hugs was called to be HIS Warrior!
