My Big Break Broke Me
This is Allison. At first glance she seems to be your typical 20 year old "SoCal" girl just trying to figure out life with the rest of them. This idea or assumption is quickly put to rest the moment she starts to speak. You quickly discover she has a deep passion for life and for people. It just kind of explodes out of her. Which is a great way to describe her personality, explosive.
"Injustice...Prejudgment of others...Ya I get really frustrated, it fires me up real quick!"
Those were the words that jumped out of her mouth when asked what brings out the Warrior in her.
"I normally just pray about those things. They are usually circumstances I cannot change or control. If I can do something about it, I will always defend what is right."
Is there a particular moment in life that you look back on that may have been a defining moment for you?
"I guess I would have to say it was in High School. There was a group of people talking and spreading rumors about the 'relationship' between my best friend and I. It was a guy. I will always remember that day in detail. It happened during lunch in the Carl's Jr. parking lot. I finally had had it and lost it on them. The end result was my being left stranded there. They continued to push me around at school and spread rumors until I reached my breaking point. However, I did the right thing and confronted them but stood my ground. They didn't bother me much after that."
So where did life take you after high school?
"Well, after being turned down by my dream school , I applied for a performing arts college on a whim and was accepted. My first day was my 18th birthday, so you could say I was young blood. 16 hour days of rehearsal, school, homework on top of workshops and touring...there wasn't much time for sleep to replenish physically let alone spiritually. That's what led to the separation between God and myself. I got caught up in all the performing aspects of college and the typical "finding myself" kind of crap. Then came "the boom and the crash and the lightening flash..." to quote a favorite musical of mine. My dad was involved in what should a been a fatal car accident, that changed my family and our lives forever. I was angry. I was angry and tired and I didn't understand why God kept allowing so much junk to happen to my family when my parents have always been so faithful. So, I pretty much gave God a "peace out!" and went my own young and dumb way.
"When I made that separation from Him, I also separated myself from family and friends who were a reminder of the life I should've been living. That led to a ton of guilt and the ultimate break of who I was. Not to sound over dramatic but I really didn't feel I had a purpose in life, at the school, performing, in my family even. I was numb. So at the worst possible time in my life, I was chosen to leave on tour across the Mid-West to mentor, teach and ironically motivate youth. Really God?!? To me, or at least I thought, it was an escape from the people I had surrounded myself with, the guilt of my family's eyes and the fake identity I had created at home and life. That idea or assumption pretty much bashed me over the head and blew up in my face. It was while I was on tour that I hit the rock bottom I had thought I was already at. I was alone. The "friendships" I made weren't real. I didn't like myself and quickly learned no one else did either."
So what was your "Ah-Ha" moment?
"I was working with a group of kids in a writing workshop and there was a little girl by herself and I was by myself so I walked over and set next to her. I handed her a piece of paper and a pen and i noticed she was writing about wanting friends. She asked me if I had a best friend. I had friends back home that I knew loved me, but because of my dislike for myself, I told her no. The instructor asked us to write about something we loved. She wrote my name. I still get choked up and emotional thinking back on it. For months I had been dumb, deaf and blind to what God had sitting waiting for me and He used what I knew I would listen to...kids. I will always hear the heart of a kid, which is my heart. That evening we had our show and as I was getting ready to leave she ran up to me and gave me a little note and said she didn't want me to leave because she didn't want to be alone again. It just rolled out of my mouth "Your never alone. Jesus loves you and will always be there for you." I realized in that moment, those were the words I was needing to hear myself. He never gave up on me. He never left me. He NEVER stopped loving me...even at my lowest. This was the big break I had been searching for and I finally caught it. I guess you can say my big break broke me."
These images courtesy of Sano Film Productions
What does the future hold for you?
"Because of my experiences I feel called to help and rescue, for lack of better words, youth who feel alone. A neglected, abused and lonely kid is one of the greatest injustices of all! My life and passion is to take a kid who has been robbed of their joy and bring it back through worship. I have a vision of a place where kids can come and experience fun of course, but mainly the feeling of having people around who love them. A 'team' of friends and MOST important, to experience a Jesus who will never leave them. I have a love for the performing arts and a passion for kids who want to peruse it. I fight to keep the gifts and dreams the world tries to sabotage...I was called to be His Warrior!"
Where can we find you?
You can find and contact me through anyone one of the links below! Please be sure to visit my website as well as "LIKE" and "FOLLOW" me on through my social media sites!
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