Do Big or Do Nothing

If you had asked me 12 years ago on this very day where I would be 10, 5, shoot ONE year from then I would have had a blank stare. In truth, it may have been more of a sheer look of terror. 13 years ago this day I was unexpectedly giving birth to my second born 8 weeks early. It was a forever life-changing day. One minute you’re casually talking to your sister in the doctor’s office, to the very next being whisked down a hallway to the operating room for an emergency delivery. As quick as those minutes in between flew by, so did the years.

I don’t think I can count on both hands and feet the many moments and memories that have been made since. All sorts of moments. There have been amazing ones, hilarious ones, and some super sad ones, and my favorite the once in a lifetime ones. I’ve experienced things in my life others have not, some I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, and maybe some you have too but you just don’t talk about it. I find myself thinking A LOT lately about all these moments and experiences. We all ask ourselves the same question when something happens, be it a good thing or bad thing…”WHY?” If you know me personally you may have heard me say a time or two “I’m gonna add that to my ‘Why List’.” This is my list of questions I have fully prepared to ask God. My list of unanswered questions and prayers, lol. Though my guess is once there I will understand and know “the why”. For, now my list satisfies my soul knowing I will have an answer...one day.

Here’s the revelation I had in the midst of frying my brain thinking through and over every circumstance and life moment I have had or been through... He actually does give us an answer. Sometimes it’s just a partial one. But I can attest, that little partial answer will have a HUGE impact on your life or someone else’s around you. If you’ve experienced trauma, you know some of your greatest healing will come through talking and sharing it with others. If you’ve had a win, there is no greater joy than not only sharing it with others but sharing how you did it with others. If you’ve ever been a room where a conversation is taking place and you hear the words “I don’t know what to do?” and you’re exploding inside with an answer because you do know first hand from experience, you WANT TO SHARE IT!

I have become a ticking time bomb people, and I am about ready to EXPLODE! I’ve got notes, outlines, rambled things jotted down of ideas I have been keeping for years. Like YEARS. And I think it’s time I actually do something with them. On my “2020 Get it Done” list (if you’ve caught on I like making lists) is to put it all into a book. Maybe it will just be a book I write for myself or something to pass on to my kids. Or maybe God will spirit slap me (I’m so coining that) and be like “Really Kellie? REALLY!? Do BIG or do nothing. Write the dang thing for everyone!” Terrified me even typing that out. Writing this blog and sharing my business with you all (even knowing “all” could be one person who reads this, lol) is scary at times. However, there is no time like the present and no time to waste. Let the doodling, writing and scratching out begin…To book outlining I go...

P.S….Happy 12th Birthday in Heaven to our Jake and of course a Happy 70th to his bday-buddy and Papa, my dad :D